Biblical dating boundaries
Biblical dating boundaries
Typically, this standard is offered in relation to physical relationships. Imagine a relationship in which your boyfriend or girlfriend never complimented you or told you how special you are. Just ask yourself one simple question, and you can automatically know whether what you’re doing is okay or not! Imagine being in a relationship where your boyfriend or girlfriend never got you a gift, not even for Christmas or your birthday.
Or imagine that they never help you when you need it. That’s what a relationship with a very low amount of physical contact feels like to someone who has physical touch as their primary love language.With good intentions to guard the sacredness of purity and marital intimacy, the courtship/biblical dating crowd has taken one expression of affection, which has just as much potential as any other to be beautiful and life-giving, and has, perhaps inadvertently, labeled it as .They can all also contribute to premature intimacy.It’s possible to say “I love you” to soon, to spend too much time together, to be too extravagant with gifts, and to communicate more intimacy and commitment that is appropriate for that stage in the relationship.But just as growth happens in any area of a relationship–more time is spent together, communication becomes deeper, more of life is shared–it is natural to expect that an appropriate physical relationship will develop and grow alongside the rest of the relationship. There is no one-size-fits all standard for physical limits.What that looks like for every couple will be different. Each couple must seek God and decide for themselves where their standards will be.
Some couples hardly touch when dating, hold hands during engagement, and have their first kiss on the wedding day. Some couples hold hands while dating and kiss when engaged. This does not mean that each couple gets to see how much they can get away with!
Rather, they must ask themselves how to bless each other, how to point each other towards God, and how to help each other avoid lust and temptation.
Sometimes, the boundaries a couple decides on will look very similar, if not identical, to “the rules” that many of us have been taught.
But when boundaries are drawn from a place of freedom and a desire to honor God, they become blessings, not burdens. Because when my boyfriend runs his fingers through my hair or kisses me on the forehead, he communicates care and honor.
One-size-fits all standards that go beyond what God has said in the Bible and restrict Christian freedom, don’t.
by *Hannah Packham Holding hands, kissing, sex, where do you draw your line? Although, I’ve only dated one guy, that’s about all it takes to learn some of the most important lessons about relationships: everything from communication to kissing.