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21-May-2016 14:52 by 8 Comments

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There are some time-honored television traditions that seem destined to continue forever: Sunday Night Football, the Academy Awards, and, of course, the Disney Channel Original Movie.

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Drawn back into the lucrative world of canine soothsaying after the sudden death of a millionaire leaves him and the benefactor’s dog the recipient of a hefty windfall, a majority of the movie is devoted to an over-the-top battle over the estate by some of the deceased’s cartoonishly dour and inept family members.

There’s not a clear message here honestly, and though it’s only been a few days since I’ve watched this one, it already only exists in my mind under the file: “Kirk Cameron Eats a Couch.” So that’s something.

Let me say that I do not understand the Disney stardom of Luke Benward.

Nor do I enjoy watching other people engage in what I think are supposed to be winter sports. When you made Star Struck, did someone ever step back and think, “Wait, are we really making a movie about a pop-star accidentally wounding one of his obsessed fans and subsequently falling in love with her?

Thusly, a movie starring Luke Benward set in the competitive world of snowboarding? ” Because regardless, I think some things were, shall we say, handled poorly here.

I spent the entirety of Den Brother rationalizing the fact that the star, Hutch Dano, must be related to the There Must Be Blood alum Paul Dano.

That wondering spiced up the ol’ “I Can’t Juggle Two Things! Doomed to be a forgotten DCOM effort, but points for that cool hair.” Disney Channel trope, keeping my mind busy and distracting myself from the fact that there was very little of value here. Invisible Sister is exactly what it sounds like: a science whiz kid turns her popular older sister invisible. This movie, besides earning the distinction of taking our beloved Halloweentown star Kimberly J.That is until I found out there’s actually no relation. Brown and handing her five screaming babies, is sort of an offense to the hallowed golden age of DCOM.Though on the plus side, it offers one of the best uses of Britney Spears’ “Soda Pop” I’ve ever seen. No shade to the guy, but I haven’t seen a stranger performance than the one he gives in You Wish!, whose alternate title is definitely Be Careful What You Wish For: The Movie.A little repellant and more upsetting to watch than anything else, You Wish!