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"It's time," you whisper - except in your fantasy, you look like Jennifer Aniston did when her character went to have her baby on the season finale of of your fantasy, when you grip your partner's hand, smile at the doctors and nurses in the sterile room, and push your baby out into the world. (Yes, you now have to call it a "potty" until your baby turns 27.) The fear you will feel at this moment will make your labor anxiety seem positively trivial.You may even beg the nurses to please let you just keep the catheter forever.But eventually, what goes in must come out -- and you are going to have to haul your floppy body off the bed and into the bathroom. Quite possibly, no one will explain what this mysterious bottle is for, because that would indicate a level of caring and helpfulness that people will seldom show you, now that you are A Mom and no longer a Pregnant Person.Well, we're here to tell you: it's actually a "peri bottle," and you are supposed to fill it with warm water and spray it on your nether regions while and after you pee. This is so important, regardless of how ridiculous you think it sounds.If you try to pee without doing this, you will wish you were dead. You get in a tub with a few inches of the hottest water you can stand. Another suggestion: Dip a washcloth in witch hazel and just stick it, ah, wherever it hurts.And if you think you are going to actually yourself after you pee, then you are a sick, sick woman, and we do not want to be friends with you anymore. Also, dispense with any preconceptions you may have about peeing in the shower; it's not a bad way to go, at least for the very first time you go. You've probably been cut off from your drug supply by now, and you're not happy about that. For the sake of aesthetics, we recommend a dark-colored washcloth, and probably a cheap one that you won't mind throwing away afterwards. We have also heard that keeping the witch-hazel-immersed cloth in the fridge can make the whole experience so pleasurable that it borders on illegal activity; however, we did not actually try this.