People aganist interacial dating
People aganist interacial dating
I belong to caste A, my boyfriend belongs to caste B. None of our parents are OK with an inter-caste marriage. Our parents take the reactions of their relatives and neighbours way more seriously than our feelings. Not happy, but happier, than making any other choice. People facing pressures from their parents are usually young people just starting out in their careers.They’re telling us about the loss of face in their respective societies that they’ll have to suffer if this marriage happens. We want to marry with those precious blessings only and we’re ready to wait till we get them. Will it not make you unhappy to irk your parents by marrying against their wish? Will it not make you unhappy to say goodbye forever to the person you love? Be selfish and choose the option that makes you the least unhappy, and then let go. In most cases they’ve either not started earning, or are still financially partly dependent on their parents.
How can some dogmatic parents have so little regard for the happiness of – not a random guy on the street but – their own child! If your parents are paying for you, you’d better do as they say.
Boys and girls (and don’t demand to be called men and women. Of course the first step is to try to convince your parents. However, if it proves impossible, you need to take a stand – one way or the other. I’m sorry, but there are no ways of going against reality.
If I could find the me of your age somewhere I’d have called myself a baby. If you have to take a stand that involves sacrificing someone’s happiness for someone else’s, whose happiness will you choose? Does that mean money is the only language that you can use – even with your closest family? But it gives you the mental strength and confidence to even believe that you can make your own decisions. If between the two of you you’re earning an amount which won’t allow for the maintenance of the same standard of living you currently enjoy – well, that’s a call you need to take.
Well, on second thoughts there are people who’d still call me a baby and their number is more than two, but I digress again… In my experience of talking to, consoling and counselling scores of young people like you, I’ve observed that there are three golden rules of dealing with parents who are real tough nuts to crack, and I thought I’ll lay them down today, fuming as I am. And you have no idea about the power of that belief. Again, you need to choose the option that makes you the least unhappy: Option #1: Embark on a radically new life.
Have you noted that I said “dealing with”, not “convincing”? A life with the man/woman you love, a life of absolute freedom, but one which offers drastically lower levels of material comfort than you currently enjoy.
Option #2: Decide that you won’t be able to adjust to the above reality of a reduced standard of living and say goodbye to the man/woman you love. Let’s take the example of your parents’ decision of allowing you to marry your girlfriend/boyfriend.
There’s nothing wrong with choosing either of these options. Make a rational, practical and well-thought out decision, and prepare yourself mentally for the consequences. That analysis might happen in our minds entirely unconsciously. I think it’s very clear that their child’s happiness – while important – is not a determining factor for them so far as this decision is concerned.I repeat – There’s nothing wrong with choosing either of these options. Don’t go into a hailstorm of remorse when those consequences become reality, because you know that you can’t have it all and you’ve made the best decision. (Otherwise why on Earth would they deliberately want their child to get married to someone other than the one they’re already deeply in love with? Is it looking very compelling to say a “yes” at the cost of losing face to the community? Now look at this one: What does that look like to you now?I know countless inter-caste couples who have tried to convince their parents, failed and then gone ahead to get married anyway, leaving their parents’ home. In 100% of the cases, the parents’ accepted them within one year of getting married.* :) Blackmail? If that’s the tried, tested and fully working method, please help yourselves. :) *[Update: As pointed out by some readers, this requires some clarifications.David Gushee is distinguished professor at a prominent Baptist University and co-author of one of the most popular Christian ethics books of the last 25 years. - Image courtesy of David Gushee David Gushee is distinguished professor at a prominent Baptist university and co-author of one of the most popular Christian ethics books of the last 25 years. – Image courtesy of David Gushee NEW YORK (RNS) At a moment when American churches and politicians are warring over gay rights and same-sex marriage, each side needs every soldier it can muster.Conservatives are about to learn that one of America’s leading evangelical ethicists is defecting to the opposition.David Gushee, a Distinguished University Professor of Christian Ethics at Mercer University, a Baptist college and divinity school in Georgia, plans to announce that he now affirms same-sex relationships, in a speech to The Reformation Project Conference, a gathering of pro-LGBT Christians in Washington, on Nov. “I do join your crusade tonight,” Gushee’s prepared remarks say, according to a draft obtained by Religion News Service.