Quote about internet dating
Quote about internet dating
Seriously, there are some sexual acts which aren’t healthy or liberating for either participant.
People participate in their own oppression all the time.
I know this because I was in an abusive relationship for five years and convinced myself that all kinds of fucked up stuff was somehow ok.
Of course, people can choose to do things which are unhealthy and degrading, I just want them to be clear about what they’re doing and not try to fool themselves into thinking otherwise.
When I sit down with a bag of cheese puffs and watch reality TV I know I’m indulging in things that are damaging me in some way, (I know this because I feel horrible afterwards- my fingers are bright orange, my tummy hurts and I feel stupider) but sometimes I do it anyway.
I got a message so terrible it almost made me want to stop dating.
I don’t mean just stop using the site, but I briefly considered never dating anyone ever again. The personal message I got from this guy was normal enough, maybe a little arrogant, but his profile totally grossed me out. I always at least look at the profile of whoever winks at me or sends me a message, but this time I really wish I hadn’t.
I sent this to my friend, Aaron: i got a message from this guy yesterday. on his profile he said he likes to “hurt girls” and kindly offered to keep me in a cage, naked, for three or four days and let his friends rape me.he and his friends also “arrange kidnap scenes, gang bangs, and girl hunts.” i get that there are a few really, really fucked up people out there who are into this sort of thing, but i am not one of them and i’m pretty sure nothing on my profile indicated that i might be. I understand that rape fantasies are fairly common and there are some people who think that other people’s sexual fantasies are beyond criticism, but I’m going to state for the record that I think it’s a really sad and unhealthy thing to participate in.Rape fantasies decrease as women gain more power in the real world and begin to feel like they can own their sexuality instead of abdicating it.Let me share a quote with you from one of the few people who has actually collected and analyzed women’s sexual fantasies: …the greatest number of fantasies I collected centered around themes of imaginary force and rape, abduction, domination, the anonymous man who the woman never sees again- all of which are psychological strategies for allowing the woman to have the most thrilling sexual experiences in her fantasies, but all under the slogan, “It wasn’t my fault; he made me do it.” In other words, sexual guilt and its avoidance was the great emotion shared by most women who contributed [in 1968].~Nancy Friday, Forbidden Flowers By the time Nancy Friday’s 1991 collection came out, rape fantasies had decreased significantly, along with bestiality fantasies (another way of avoiding sexual guilt- by projecting sexual fantasies onto a dog or other animal that can never condemn you for having a lusty appetite).It makes me sad to know that women still feel powerless enough that they’re having rape and dog-fuck fantasies, but it makes me angry to know that there are people here in town who are acting these things out.