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Over the past weeks, I’ve gotten several emails from single female clergy wondering about the life of dating and living single as a priest. Again, that priest-parishioner relationship is holy and does not need to be mucked up by all that is messy and crazy about dating.
Given the number of books I’ve read on clergy who write about how to be the parish church in the modern age who have never actually pastored a church, I figure I’m one-up on the standard of whatever the publishing world deems an expert. So no, the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. Comments that use non-PG rated language, include personal attacks, that are not provable as fact or that we deem in any way to to be counter to our mission of fostering respectful dialogue will not be posted.
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I wish I had read her work before I became a co-parent.
While dating men with children, I didn’t take into account certain things, which are thoroughly discussed in the chapters of the book.
For instance, I wasn’t used to being someone’s second priority and having to schedule dates around a custodial calendar.
I also thought paying child support meant your child’s needs were fully met.
I didn’t realize bills stretch far beyond a daycare center’s door.
I also didn’t have to budget and sacrifice for others, so I could easily drop dollars on designer bags, shoes and clothes, if I opted to spend the day at the shopping mall.
Now that I’m on the other side of the fence and co-parenting the most terrific toddler you’ll ever meet, I want my experiences to positively impact singles dating someone with children. We ate our favorite — Thai food — and discussed our not-so-favorite topic: co-parenting through problems and over obstacles.
I asked her what six things should women know when dating men with children. If a man says, “my child’s mother won’t let me see my kids,” dig deeper, because while the family court system is broken, sometimes men say they aren’t allowed see their children when they haven’t sought parenting time through a judge.
You don’t need an attorney to obtain custodial rights.
A father can represent himself pro se and file a motion, if he cannot work out an agreement with his ex.