Trust issues in dating

07-Nov-2014 05:49 by 6 Comments

Trust issues in dating - carmen electra dating

Don’t let your past spoil your future Okay, so maybe the people in your past were completely untrustworthy.

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Maybe you’re the type of person who always keeps people at a distance and always leaves the relationship first so you don’t get hurt.But it’s not fair to treat every person you date as guilty for the sins of your past.You need to be willing to wipe the slate clean every time you get involved with someone new.This doesn’t mean you need to trust them completely right off the bat; that can be reckless. Not the worst problem in the world by any means, but not great.It has a history of effecting my personal life, though.

I tend to keep my walls up for too long and then let them come crashing down entirely all at once instead of gradually.This leads to distancing, constant doubts, and fear of abandonment that comes with assuming people can’t be trusted or trusting too soon.Building high walls because some people violated your trust in the past isn’t fair to those perfectly trustworthy people you’re just getting to know. One of the problems I’ve figured out about myself is that my gut gave me signs not to trust certain people, and I ignored it.And letting your boundaries come crashing down all at once instead of giving trust in little bits at a time is setting yourself up to get hurt. Everyone’s different, of course, and if your issues are really bothering you, seeking help from a therapist is a good move. Or I ignored that person for a bit, second guessed myself, and let them back into my life without discussing the issue or reestablishing trust.Here are some things that help me, and might help you too. Actually listening to your gut and following it is one of the hardest but more important lessons to learn for establishing trust. Either walk away from that person immediately, or talk about it with them and take things very slowly with them until they’ve PROVEN they can be trusted.One thing I noticed about the trustworthy people: they are willing to do whatever it takes to earn your trust.