Why dont dating sites never work

30-Aug-2015 09:49 by 4 Comments

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I’ve been on several dates with this guy who seems to show more interest and put in more effort when I start caring less.The reason I started caring less is because he was not being that considerate about our plans (i.e. When I care less, he tries harder and puts in more effort which causes me to end up liking him more again.Maybe my situation is unusual, but in general , after several dates, is it okay for a girl ask a guy to hang out sometimes?Or, should she keep letting the guy initiate plans until they are actually in a relationship? The situation that you’re describing actually illustrates something that I’ve talked about before.In previous posts, I’ve talked about how when a guy is being flaky, doesn’t text back, or isn’t doing something you want him to do, the worst response is to become needy.In your case, you weren’t needy – you didn’t make a big deal about it and you backed off when he wasn’t putting in the effort that you expect.

As a result, he started putting in more of an effort because you gave him space to do so.I have to tell you, my e-mail box is FILLED with e-mails about how some guy didn’t text back or didn’t call or didn’t set his Facebook status to say “In a relationship”, etc.The majority of these issues could be resolved by just doing what you did – backing off, giving the guy some space and letting him come to you and put in the effort.Too often I see girls smothering or nagging a guy when he doesn’t do what they want him to.That always results in the guy becoming more withdrawn.After all, why would he want to commit himself more to a girl who’s nagging him already, right at the beginning of a relationship!